Months' Long Hiatus

I know it happens in the blogosphere: You intend to write more often, but then don't. "I'll just post this tomorrow..." or "I'll do that as soon as I level up in WoW" or "Who knew that there would be yet another Firefly marathon on this weekend? Maybe I'll make time to write on Tuesday instead." Whatever the cause, procrastination is not an unusual thing.

In the interest of keeping my New Year's resolution - or rather, my New Year's intention - to be more conscious of the choices I make and start making choices that truly make my life better, more meaningful, healthier, or happier, I am going to try some mindfulness practices. One in particular has caught my attention: the "Writing Your Way Home" blog project A River of Stones. The idea is that you write a "small stone" every day for the entire month of January.

From their website:

A small stone is a very short piece of writing that precisely captures a fully-engaged moment.

There are no strict rules for what makes a piece of writing a small stone, as there are for forms such as haiku. The process of finding small stones is as important as the finished product – searching for them will encourage you to keep your eyes (and ears, nose, mouth, fingers, feelings and mind) open.

I plan to change that up a bit to suit my own life a bit more, and write at least one per month for the entire year.

Life Deserves Poetry

I've been thinking recently that there is just not enough poetry in our lives. We're too busy to appreciate poetic moments, hustling by without even a glance. And the words we find and use in this world are rushed, hectic, condensed to fit on a text screen or wordsmithed so that they aren't beautiful and powerful but simply concise and pithy enough to make a decent sound byte. What a pity - we're losing so much!

Thus, I am going to try to remember to post a favorite poem, couplet, or phrase here every now and again as a way to take that moment's pause that's necessary to appreciate the beauty all around us every day.

A Walk
by Rainer Maria Rilke

My eyes already touch the sunny hill.
going far ahead of the road I have begun.
So we are grasped by what we cannot grasp;
it has inner light, even from a distance--

and charges us, even if we do not reach it,
into something else, which, hardly sensing it,
we already are; a gesture waves us on
answering our own wave...
but what we feel is the wind in our faces.

Easily Amused vs. Genuinely Funny

I describe myself as both funny and easily amused - almost anything can make me laugh. (This is why my sister calls me Dr. Hibbert, after the character on The Simpsons who giggles even at the most inappropriate moments. That I love administering shots to unwary children and am not nearly as likable as Dr. Nick have NOTHING to do with it.)

But I sometimes wonder if I'm actually as funny as I think I am. Off and on, I've been dabbling with writing a novel, and I'm having a hard time finding my voice. Right now, it's very "straight" while I feel like my characters are lacking some liveliness that they would have if I allowed myself to be a bit more of a comedian in my approach. Not that I'd want to make it a laugh riot; I actually want the overall feel of the book to be more sincere than that. Still, it's hard to know what to do. What if I put in what I think is amusing and I'm the only one laughing?


Yes, I know I'll have plenty of time to revise and remove anything that doesn't fly in future drafts, and that part of the novel writing process is just getting that first draft done... especially when it's your first novel. I'm just not sure if I trust myself enough to discern what's genuinely funny and will amuse my potential readers, and what's just pandering to my own nature.

Is it too much to ask that the stuff I find funny leave everyone else in this sort of state?

In an Alternate World, This Is My Style

I may be politically liberal, but with most things about my own life, I tend to be fairly conservative. I wear a small amount of make-up, dress conservatively, pride myself on behaving appropriately, etc. But deep down inside, I want to be one of these girls:



Yes, that's right. I want to be a rockabilly chick, a would-be pin-up girl with a retro-50s feel. Sometimes I picture myself with short, blunt-cut bangs, crimson lips, and too-tight skirt, and smile. I can almost feel myself channeling my inner vixen, opening up to the Bettie Page within...

Being Authentic

If you've ever worked with me on a project, or even brainstormed with me, you'll learn that for as bright and original as people THINK I am, a lot of what I do is apply something that's already been done to a current need. It's a simple matter of expedience for me; a lot of truly brilliant, original people have already created some amazing things, so why not stand on their shoulders instead of starting from the ground up?

A former coworker laughed when I was training her on how to take over some of my projects. One of the network folders I pointed out was labeled "Pirated Stuff." I told her that I kept running files of things that I had come across that I thought would be useful later, and so I had assorted things saved there just in case there was ever a need for them. One example was a list of holiday greetings that would be appropriate coming from a non-religious corporation, culled from cards we'd received from vendors and things I came across on the internet. And every year, I'd pull that up and use different messages in our company newsletter, in e-mails, and on the cards we designed to send out to the agents who sold our products.

I've often told people, "I'm not that creative; I just know how to find good stuff to steal!"

Of course, it's not exactly that simple. I don't just pass off someone else's work as my own - I tweak wording, formatting, refine and customize, etc., so that whatever I am using truly suits its purpose. And I'm never afraid to cite my original sources or explain what I've added or taken away from it to make it better meet my needs.

Recently, I came across a quote that sums up the way I work, and I wanted to share it (and possibly save it for later use!):

"Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic.

"Authenticity is invaluable, originality is non-existent. And don't bother concealing your thievery - celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: 'It's not where you take things from - it's where you take them to.'"

~ Jim Jarmusch

I like it.

In Which I Confess I'm a Geek (while acknowledging that this comes as a surprise to no one)

For my upcoming birthday, which I am somewhat unsuccessfully trying not to think of as the big 3-5, my parents bought me the full Adobe Creative Suite. This is a HUGE gift, which encompasses several applications that will help me move forward with my business, including:

• Photoshop
• Illustrator
• InDesign
• Adobe Acrobat Professional
• Flash Professional
• Dreamweaver

... and several other key pieces of software that have been missing from my life. Or at least from my laptop.

I am beyond thrilled. When the package arrived today, I felt a little like I did when I got a new toy or game as a kid - all nervous energy and excitement. And now that it's installed and fully functional on my trusty Dell, I can hardly wait to get started on my next project.

Shouldn't work always be like this? Shouldn't we get to do things that stimulate us, and make us look forward to applying ourselves to a purpose?

I'm only now realizing just how rare that feeling was for me in the months leading up to the end of my time with my previous employer, and what a tremendous gift I've been given to work at building my own company doing what I enjoy. Without a push, I don't know that I would have started on this path. But now that I'm on it, I think the only thing that could cause me to detour would be a winning lottery ticket.

Did I mention that PowerBall is $160 million or something this week? Do you know that even if I won, I'd still find myself playing with this "new toy" - even if it was just to create a really, really slick and well-designed "Ha Ha Ha! I'm RICH!" postcard to send to everyone I know.

Powerfully Shrinking Women

If I were to write a serious, well-thought-out blog post, I know just what topic I would choose: "The Inverse Proportionality of Female Empowerment and the Ideal Female Form."


The essay would focus on how, as women's lives grow larger in terms of their personal power, available choices in public and private spheres, and overall equality, their physical selves - or at least the ideal of them - grows ever smaller. It's as if, by taking up space in other spheres, women need to cede the space they allow themselves in their very bodies.

(Caption: FEMINISM: Okay, ladies, this has gone on long enough!)

I'd bring up statistics on things like:

• Body image issues and eating disorders among ever-younger women and girls
• Comparisons of what is considered sexy/desirable in the 21st century versus in past decades
• An examination of whether this phenomena happened at other times when women's rights surged (such as following the suffragette movement, or how the sexual revolution hit when Twiggy became "big")
• Anything to demonstrate the ways in which women are on more equal footing with men now than ever before

I'd also raise questions about this as being a backlash against women, or if it's something that is somehow done by women. It is possible that this isn't some kind of subconscious reaction by men and counter-feminist women to "keep women in their place," but is, in fact, a manifestation of inner conflict women have as gender roles expand and change.

But, like I said, that's IF I were to write a serious blog post. Right now, it just seems like a lot of work, and I do have toenails to paint and cookies to bake...