Life Deserves Poetry

I've been thinking recently that there is just not enough poetry in our lives. We're too busy to appreciate poetic moments, hustling by without even a glance. And the words we find and use in this world are rushed, hectic, condensed to fit on a text screen or wordsmithed so that they aren't beautiful and powerful but simply concise and pithy enough to make a decent sound byte. What a pity - we're losing so much!

Thus, I am going to try to remember to post a favorite poem, couplet, or phrase here every now and again as a way to take that moment's pause that's necessary to appreciate the beauty all around us every day.

A Walk
by Rainer Maria Rilke

My eyes already touch the sunny hill.
going far ahead of the road I have begun.
So we are grasped by what we cannot grasp;
it has inner light, even from a distance--

and charges us, even if we do not reach it,
into something else, which, hardly sensing it,
we already are; a gesture waves us on
answering our own wave...
but what we feel is the wind in our faces.

Easily Amused vs. Genuinely Funny

I describe myself as both funny and easily amused - almost anything can make me laugh. (This is why my sister calls me Dr. Hibbert, after the character on The Simpsons who giggles even at the most inappropriate moments. That I love administering shots to unwary children and am not nearly as likable as Dr. Nick have NOTHING to do with it.)

But I sometimes wonder if I'm actually as funny as I think I am. Off and on, I've been dabbling with writing a novel, and I'm having a hard time finding my voice. Right now, it's very "straight" while I feel like my characters are lacking some liveliness that they would have if I allowed myself to be a bit more of a comedian in my approach. Not that I'd want to make it a laugh riot; I actually want the overall feel of the book to be more sincere than that. Still, it's hard to know what to do. What if I put in what I think is amusing and I'm the only one laughing?


Yes, I know I'll have plenty of time to revise and remove anything that doesn't fly in future drafts, and that part of the novel writing process is just getting that first draft done... especially when it's your first novel. I'm just not sure if I trust myself enough to discern what's genuinely funny and will amuse my potential readers, and what's just pandering to my own nature.

Is it too much to ask that the stuff I find funny leave everyone else in this sort of state?

In an Alternate World, This Is My Style

I may be politically liberal, but with most things about my own life, I tend to be fairly conservative. I wear a small amount of make-up, dress conservatively, pride myself on behaving appropriately, etc. But deep down inside, I want to be one of these girls:



Yes, that's right. I want to be a rockabilly chick, a would-be pin-up girl with a retro-50s feel. Sometimes I picture myself with short, blunt-cut bangs, crimson lips, and too-tight skirt, and smile. I can almost feel myself channeling my inner vixen, opening up to the Bettie Page within...

Being Authentic

If you've ever worked with me on a project, or even brainstormed with me, you'll learn that for as bright and original as people THINK I am, a lot of what I do is apply something that's already been done to a current need. It's a simple matter of expedience for me; a lot of truly brilliant, original people have already created some amazing things, so why not stand on their shoulders instead of starting from the ground up?

A former coworker laughed when I was training her on how to take over some of my projects. One of the network folders I pointed out was labeled "Pirated Stuff." I told her that I kept running files of things that I had come across that I thought would be useful later, and so I had assorted things saved there just in case there was ever a need for them. One example was a list of holiday greetings that would be appropriate coming from a non-religious corporation, culled from cards we'd received from vendors and things I came across on the internet. And every year, I'd pull that up and use different messages in our company newsletter, in e-mails, and on the cards we designed to send out to the agents who sold our products.

I've often told people, "I'm not that creative; I just know how to find good stuff to steal!"

Of course, it's not exactly that simple. I don't just pass off someone else's work as my own - I tweak wording, formatting, refine and customize, etc., so that whatever I am using truly suits its purpose. And I'm never afraid to cite my original sources or explain what I've added or taken away from it to make it better meet my needs.

Recently, I came across a quote that sums up the way I work, and I wanted to share it (and possibly save it for later use!):

"Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic.

"Authenticity is invaluable, originality is non-existent. And don't bother concealing your thievery - celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: 'It's not where you take things from - it's where you take them to.'"

~ Jim Jarmusch

I like it.

In Which I Confess I'm a Geek (while acknowledging that this comes as a surprise to no one)

For my upcoming birthday, which I am somewhat unsuccessfully trying not to think of as the big 3-5, my parents bought me the full Adobe Creative Suite. This is a HUGE gift, which encompasses several applications that will help me move forward with my business, including:

• Photoshop
• Illustrator
• InDesign
• Adobe Acrobat Professional
• Flash Professional
• Dreamweaver

... and several other key pieces of software that have been missing from my life. Or at least from my laptop.

I am beyond thrilled. When the package arrived today, I felt a little like I did when I got a new toy or game as a kid - all nervous energy and excitement. And now that it's installed and fully functional on my trusty Dell, I can hardly wait to get started on my next project.

Shouldn't work always be like this? Shouldn't we get to do things that stimulate us, and make us look forward to applying ourselves to a purpose?

I'm only now realizing just how rare that feeling was for me in the months leading up to the end of my time with my previous employer, and what a tremendous gift I've been given to work at building my own company doing what I enjoy. Without a push, I don't know that I would have started on this path. But now that I'm on it, I think the only thing that could cause me to detour would be a winning lottery ticket.

Did I mention that PowerBall is $160 million or something this week? Do you know that even if I won, I'd still find myself playing with this "new toy" - even if it was just to create a really, really slick and well-designed "Ha Ha Ha! I'm RICH!" postcard to send to everyone I know.

Powerfully Shrinking Women

If I were to write a serious, well-thought-out blog post, I know just what topic I would choose: "The Inverse Proportionality of Female Empowerment and the Ideal Female Form."


The essay would focus on how, as women's lives grow larger in terms of their personal power, available choices in public and private spheres, and overall equality, their physical selves - or at least the ideal of them - grows ever smaller. It's as if, by taking up space in other spheres, women need to cede the space they allow themselves in their very bodies.

(Caption: FEMINISM: Okay, ladies, this has gone on long enough!)

I'd bring up statistics on things like:

• Body image issues and eating disorders among ever-younger women and girls
• Comparisons of what is considered sexy/desirable in the 21st century versus in past decades
• An examination of whether this phenomena happened at other times when women's rights surged (such as following the suffragette movement, or how the sexual revolution hit when Twiggy became "big")
• Anything to demonstrate the ways in which women are on more equal footing with men now than ever before

I'd also raise questions about this as being a backlash against women, or if it's something that is somehow done by women. It is possible that this isn't some kind of subconscious reaction by men and counter-feminist women to "keep women in their place," but is, in fact, a manifestation of inner conflict women have as gender roles expand and change.

But, like I said, that's IF I were to write a serious blog post. Right now, it just seems like a lot of work, and I do have toenails to paint and cookies to bake...

My Obsession

Confession: If I could figure out how to make a living doing it, I would spend my whole life making soundtracks, road trip playlists, and theme "mix tapes" for myself and anyone who wants one. I have very eclectic musical tastes, everything from pop to alternative country, classical to blues, gospel to classic rock, and I love mashing a few different genres (usually variations on rock, blues, and country) into approximately an hour of good tunes.

It's an addiction, and I have an online enabler: 8tracks.com.

It's a forum where you can upload playlists of eight or more tracks, then publish them for other people to enjoy. Not only is it something that I like putting out there for other people, it is also a great way to be introduced to other people's favorite bands and songs.

My most recent addition is called Rockabilly Wonderland. I'm pleased with how it turned out, and a few people have "liked" it or started following me as a result.


But like a junkie, I'm already seeking my next fix. A super 1970s summer song list? Songs to sing along with in the car? My favorite choral works? ...It's all so tempting!

Holy Pajamas!

(That's actually a quote from one of my all-time favorite chick flicks, Shag.)


I lost my job in November 2010 and started my own business - something I've wanted to do for years but never allowed myself to try. It's been scary at times, and still is when I look at my finances and compare them to what they once were, but overall, it's one of the best things that's ever happened to me. It has, however, had one completely unanticipated consequence:

I'm wearing out my pajamas.

Before, I used to spend most of the day in business casual attire. These days, I only leave the house a few times a week, and those are the ONLY occasions that seem to merit being fully clothed. This means I'm spending most of my time in pajamas. Soft cotton pajamas, sweetly scented with fabric softener, gently covering my unmentionable bits. They are so comfortable, and allow me to lounge about thinking of nothing but work, I swear.

I don't think I've purchased any shoes or clothing since November; there hasn't been a need. But this week, I discovered something horrifying: my PJs are slowly falling apart! I am going to need a few new sets, which will be fine once I get a little more work in.

Still, I wonder: Do you think I could claim pajamas as a business expense on my taxes? Surely they could be considered as helpful to me as software or phone service.

Impressively Filling In The Blanks

I had a fairly important business conference call today. By which I mean, I was "meeting" for the first time, through another associate, a guy who could potentially send thousands of dollars worth of work my way. Not only that, but the initial project we're working on sounds like exactly the kind of work I love to do, so it's sort of a dream scenario.

Okay, so it was more than "fairly important."

Unfortunately, he was conference calling using a phone that almost constantly cut out on me. I don't know what the trigger was - maybe background noises were being interpreted as conversation by the phone? - but whatever was causing it, it made the call almost unbearable. After three attempts to hang up and call back to resolve the issue, it was clear that the issue wasn't going to go away.



Thus I began an audio version of Mad Libs, during which I would hear:

"CEO... CFO... 'no-bullshit leadership' session to introduce... 30th."

And then I would respond positively, as if I were certain that I had been told that the company's top execs were going to kick off the program with a session they were jokingly referring to as 'no-bullshit leadership' and that they wanted to do this pretty much right away, as in by August 30th. It was a lot like trying to navigate a maze in the dark, so I was verbally bumping around while still trying to sound like I totally know my shit...

Which I normally do!

...but without overstepping or overcommitting myself based on what was essentially a series of tenuously achieved assumptions.

I hadn't realized how little pressure I have had to deal with lately until I felt the tight coils of it wrapping around me, and I am just thankful that I didn't muck things up horribly. In fact, to my relief, my associate called and told me I really impressed the guy on the phone, and that there were future projects that I might earn as a result.

Still, if possible, I'm going to avoid playing this particular game again anytime soon. Hope he likes exchanging e-mail messages!

Thoughts Keeping Me Up Tonight

There are several things that have circulated through my head recently that I find mildly worrisome, and hey, what's the point of worrying if you're not going to share it with others?

So... Internet dating may not be a good option for me.

In the past month or so, I've come across pictures of this famous/recognizable guy on a few blogs and other online sources. And each time I see him, I think, "He's kinda cute" or "That guy has a really nice smile."


In case you're wondering, that's Ted Bundy. Cutest. Serial. Killer. Ever.

For all my suburban sensibilities (and mock-worthy hipster aspirations), I may actually be more white trash.

Case in point: Driving down Main Street late at night, passing used car lots, tattoo parlors, women of questionable virtue in exceedingly tight clothing, and plenty of bars, I turn up the radio. It's AC/DC's Highway to Hell. It just feels... right.

I'm on the verge of becoming totally uninformed.

I had my days of media saturation, when I'd read most of the News and all of the Politics sections in The Washington Post. And I'd watch local and national news. I'd start out my mornings with CNN, too. But without the pressure of a job that requires me to know so many details, and with less of an outlet for discussing what I came across, my interest began to wane. The downward spiral went like this:

1. Reading The Washington Post, watching CNN and local/national news most nights
2. Reading MSNBC.com, watching local/national news some nights, and CNN when there was breaking news
3. Starting my morning by watching The Today Show, reading "Top Stories" from the feed that automatically popped up on my Yahoo! mail account, watching local news occasionally, reading the local paper (okay, mostly editorials and obits)
4. Watching The Today Show and following up on bits of Jon Stewart's Daily Show monologues by reading an occasional national news story in The New York Times
5. Watching The Today Show and listening to Ed Schultz on liberal talk radio
6. Watching The Today Show and yelling at Sean Hannity on conservative talk radio, since the liberal one went off the air
7. Watching The Today Show
8. Reading political arguments on a completely unrelated professional bulletin board, and occasionally doing searches using Google News when a comment makes me think, "That's just ridiculous!"
   

Thank God for The Daily Show. Otherwise, by the time the 2012 election rolls around, I'd have to write-in candidates from previous elections because I would have no way to recognize any current candidates!

Random Commentary Not Fit for Facebook

I'm not entirely certain why I'm starting this blog, except that I'm compelled to write and I desperately need a place to corral all of the bizarre and amusing things that flit through my head on any given day. So my hope is that this will be a place to vent all of the stuff I try not to inflict on innocent passers-by.

You may wonder why I don't try to spare innocent blog readers the same fate. Well, I've seen your computer search history, pervert. The simple truth is, no one is innocent online.

Okay, maybe my grandma, who recently joined the Facebook nation. On the other hand, I've heard rumors about her wild, younger days, when she was in her 40s...